Past Reflections
by Flaming Moth
Summary: Samantha recalls the events that took place during the movie.  Her thoughts on what happened during and after.  Told from Samantha's POV.  Oneshot.


_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own _Cyberbully_ or any characters or settings associated with it. But if I did, I would proudly stand on the roof of the tallest building and shout it out to let everyone know. The idea doesn't even belong to me. __**Disneygirl1982**__ gave me a suggestion so I decided to work with it. Thank her. She deserves all the credit._

_Oh, and one more thing. The two of us have started a Cyberbully forum and we would love for you to go check it out. You can talk about the movie or real situations that you've come across or have experienced. Details are in the two topics that have already been set up for you. Hope to see you there!_

_Now, what are you waiting for? Go on. Continue to the actual story. You just might like it. ;) Enjoy!_

**PAST REFLECTIONS**

I can't believe the things that have happened. Things that started as simple revenge directed towards a sister, but ended on a much more drastic and near-tragic note. Things that occurred just last week. I can't believe how far it went. But that's just the thing. It did go far. Too far. And it's something that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

By now, you're probably wondering what the heck I'm talking about or who I even am. Let's start with the basics. My name is Samantha Caldone. Right now I'm sitting in my best friend's room, just mulling over the events that have led me to this state of deep thinking. I never meant to be part of the clan that would eventually lead to my best friend, Taylor, almost committing suicide. Honestly I didn't. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. At the time, I thought I was protecting her. Boy was I ever wrong!

Let me backtrack to when this all began. I guess the very beginning of this started when Taylor's birthday came around. Her mother gave her a laptop and with it, the freedom to do whatever she wanted online without having someone looking over her shoulder. I can still remember Taylor's excitement about her newfound freedom. It wasn't long before she joined Clicksters, a social networking website that the whole school was a part of. It was because of this website that things started to go bad.

I'm not quite sure what happened between Taylor and her brother, Eric. I never did get the details down on how it happened. All I remember is getting a phone call from her, crying about how someone had hacked her Clicksters profile and changed her account status to something less than appropriate. The results of that status change were phenomenal. She suddenly started getting nasty comments from random people that attended our school. The biggest ones came from Lindsay Fordyce, the meanest girl of our school whose number one hobby was to make everyone around her miserable. Taylor later found out that it was Eric who had hacked her profile. If she could have killed him and got away with it, I'm pretty sure that would've happened. I don't think I'd ever seen her so pissed off. But that was nothing compared to the things that happened next.

Before all this had even started, Taylor had been crushing on this one guy, Scott Ozsik. She was convinced that he was different from all the other guys out there. Considering my bad past experiences, I was determined to show Taylor that Scott wasn't any different. So I created a fake profile on Clicksters under the name of James Petitious. I wanted to show Taylor that there were others out there for her. You know, decent guys who weren't just trying to get in your pants. Guys that were sensitive and good listeners. I felt that she needed someone like that online who would understand and not judge her, especially after the whole brother incident. But that's not exactly how things turned out.

I don't know why I did what I did next. Before I could even think about what was happening, I posted something that would release the next tsunami of comments and insults towards Taylor. Under the fake profile of James, I told everyone that Taylor had given me an STD. Which of course wasn't true. Like I said, I don't know what prompted me to do it, but when I did realize what I had posted, I quickly deleted it. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. Everyone had seen it. And because of my stupidity and need to "protect" her, this was actually the first major step I took to hurting my best friend.

As I look back, it's still hard to believe that I had done such a thing. What the hell was wrong with me? As a best friend, you don't do that. It's the exact same equivalent of stabbing her in the back. I felt bad. I really did. But I was too scared to tell her that it was me. At the time, I didn't think that it would blow up as big as it had. But it did. Majorly. As much as I tried to deny the things that James had supposedly said, no one believed it. The comments got ruder and Taylor started to withdraw from everything and everyone with each passing day.

It wasn't until that one fateful day that I realized how much hurt I had caused. We went to school like any other day. Taylor couldn't stop talking about Scott, wondering if he thought badly of her because of what everyone was saying. I couldn't take it anymore. What was the point of me even trying to protect her if she wasn't going to listen to anything I said, right? I left her standing there in the hallway, not realizing that I had been the only one who had still kept her grounded by staying by her side through this ordeal. Everything after that happened so fast I'm surprised that I can still remember it.

School had barely let out for the day. I hadn't seen Taylor since I snapped at her, but I wasn't too worried about it. I just needed time to cool off. So I went home, brought my laptop over to my bed and signed on to Clicksters under my real name. The first thing I noticed was that Taylor had posted a new video. God, that video… I didn't know what to expect but the moment it started, I had a sinking feeling deep within my gut. The things she said. Her facial expression and the sound of her voice. It broke my heart. But what really got to me were her final statements.

"_I'm just done. So that's it I guess…bye."_

Those words will haunt me forever. Without thinking, I tried calling her phone but got no answer. I really started to panic then and ran outside to see if I could reach her at her house. I called her mom to let her know what was going on before speeding over to their house. Her brother didn't know a damn thing about what was possibly going on. I raced upstairs, calling her name. She wasn't in her bedroom so I decided to seek her elsewhere. As I was passing by the bathroom, I heard a small noise coming from within. I opened the door and my heart dropped at what I saw.

Taylor was sitting on the edge of the tub, trying to desperately pop open a bottle of pills. There was no way in hell I was going to just stand there and let her do something like that. So I ran over and tried wrestling the bottle from her grasp. She put up a fight and refused to stop until the top popped off and all the pills spilled to the floor. She wasn't happy with what I'd done and began to cry, completely broken and probably feeling helpless. I didn't realize her mom was right there until she appeared next to me and took over. Seeing Taylor on the floor like that, seeing the pills scattered everywhere… It hit me right then and there just how serious this all had become.

At the hospital, I had a small talk with her mom. She got me to realize that the fake James profile had a lot to do with Taylor's breakdown. What she didn't know was that I was the one behind it. Although I didn't outright lie to her, I still felt bad. So with tears in my eyes, I left. Back at my house, I forced myself to go online to Clicksters. I re-read everything that was on the James profile, feeling worse with each passing post. I deleted it immediately. I can't believe I had stooped as low as Lindsay. But no. Lindsay proved once again just how low she could get. I saw the video she made that depicted Taylor as a pregnant prostitute. That must've been what pushed her over the edge. As much as I wanted to pound Lindsay's face in, I knew I had no right to. What I had done wasn't any better. My best friend nearly took her own life. And I had played a part in it. I never wanted it to go that far, but it did.

After Taylor was released, her mom made her join a group-type thing to talk about her experience. She slowly started becoming the girl I once knew. The girl I remember before all this crap happened. Before I messed it all up. I knew that if I didn't come clean with her, I would be feeling guilty about it forever. So that's just what I did. I confessed. And she didn't take it well. Who could blame her? What would you do if the person you called your best friend admitted to something like that? Admitted that she had something to do with you almost being dead? Yes, it was awful of me and I regret it everyday, but there's no going back to change what's already been done. I had to live with the consequences. Including my own personal taste of cyber bullying once everyone found out the truth about James. I knew that it would hurt, but I had no idea just how much impact a few words could have. And I deserved it all. I had hurt my best friend. I didn't know if we would ever be friends again.

So imagine my surprise when I was called up to do a special interview alongside her. I knew that this would be the first step I needed to take to try and rekindle the friendship we once had. I miss those days. I really do. But at least things are going back to normal. Taylor even stood up to Lindsay in the cafeteria one day. I was so proud of her for doing that. Even more so when I saw how some of the others backed her up…

I'm brought out of my deep thoughts of the past as Taylor walks into her room. It takes not even a second to remember where I'm at before I went down memory lane.

She smiles at me. "You ready?"

I quickly nod. "Yeah. What took you so long?"

She gave me a look of confusion. "I was only gone for two minutes."

I'm a little dumbfounded. Had I really been thinking for only the past two minutes? Shaking that thought from my head, I stand up and head towards her bedroom door. "Well, if I'd known any better, I would've thought you had fallen in the toilet or something."

She follows closely behind me as we head outside towards my car. "And you didn't think to come and help me if I had?"

I just smiled and climbed into my car, buckling up and waiting for her to do the same. "Nah, you can swim, right?"

She playfully swats my arm and I laugh as I put the vehicle into drive and pull away from the curb where it was parked. I know that we still act like best friends. I know that we both went through a tough time in our friendship with her near-suicide and my confession. And yet, even though things seem okay on the surface, I also know that she most likely won't reach that level of trust with me again. But I'm never going to give up trying to make it up to her. I will be there when she needs me. I will be the person I should've been all along. The person who she believed me to be.

The one she calls her true best friend.

_**Author's Afterword:**__ So, what did you think? Please review and give me your honest opinion. To me it kind of sounds like it ends on a bittersweet note. Eh, oh well. This was the vision I had before I even started typing this all out. Once I received the idea, that is. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! This was my first _Cyberbully_ fanfic._


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